My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
