I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
