I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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