you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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