is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
