i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
