He told me they were just razor bumps!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
