She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
