Well douche your snatch and let's go!
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
