that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
