thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
