I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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