Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
