Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
