my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Can you bring me the toilet please
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
