and you said cock pushups were impossible
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
