i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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