I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
