my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
