WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
