Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
