Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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