That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
