i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
