i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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