I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
