I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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