you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
