we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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