I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
