Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
a search helicopter?!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
