He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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