i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
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Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
