Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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