i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
