you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
