my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm passing your future prison.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
