Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
