Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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