It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
