You're completely useless in the revolution.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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