A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
