Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
