reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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