nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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