Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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