We're like a lot better than the average bears
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
