I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
