sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We need to rekindle our bromance
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
