You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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