wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
