Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
