i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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