I swear she didn't look like that last week.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
