on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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