My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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